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Donald Trump successfully comes in his own mouth

Trump Mouth

Earlier this week, the former (and future) President, Donald Trump, gave himself a blowjob and finished in his own mouth on camera during a CNN town hall meeting.

That’s the whole article, the end. Sorry. I know you wanted to read more about this scenario, but I don’t want to write it. Good bye.

Actually, I gave it some thought and I was about to change my mind and come back to write more, but mid-writing this sentence I switched back to my original mindset. I don’t want to write more. I almost got myself to give in and write more but I didn’t. I’m proud of myself for holding strong. No more writing about Donald Trump sucking himself off. Good for me. I’m a hero. I should be celebrated.

Here’s just a few extra words to make it look like this article has 4 paragraphs so it’s nice a square. Ahh, that feels better. Nice even number, 4. Looks good in the format. Wow, so much writing, this must be a legitimate article. But then under barely any inspection you see, “oh, it’s smut. Great.”

So yea, that’s it. Fuck, now it’s 5 paragraphs! Not as appealing! Damn it! What do I do? Do I keep going? No! I need to stop. I need to show some self control. Some discipline.

But I never have had any, really. For anything. I overindulge, I push too far, I become obsessed. I fixate on things that don’t need more attention. I give it more attention! I stress! I have anxiety over it! Things that no one else even knows existed! This article didn’t exist 5 minutes ago and now here we are! And nobody cares it exists either! I don’t even care! But I do! I don’t, but I do! I don’t care it exists, but I care about the effort I put in to it. Ahhh I’m losing it! I need to sprint out of this building as fast as I can! Starting… Now! Go! 3. 2. 1. Go! Goooo!…

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds