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St. Pete man makes 6-month plan to blame Idalia for everything

Robert Murphy of St. Petersburg has crafted an extended plan to get out of certain obligations by blaming Hurricane Idalia.

“Six months? I’m still blaming stuff on 9/11 and I was 7-years-old when that happened,” he said. “I’ll get at least a year out of this.”

“Work functions, dates, family gatherings,”, he mused as he thumbed through his personal planner. “Yeah, I’m not doing half the things people are expecting me to show up for. Thanks Idalia!”

Between his work and social lives Murphy is a person who frequently finds himself with a full calendar, something that doesn’t necessarily appeal to him.

“I wouldn’t say I look forward to tropical storms, but I like having an excuse to get out of stuff I don’t want to do. And the beauty is that no one can challenge it. ‘Hey, I can’t go to your wedding this weekend, you know, because of the storm.’ Even though the last storm might have been months ago, they have no idea what I might be dealing with and you can tell they feel bad for even asking. It’s awesome!” he said.

“Ooh, my nephew Tony’s kindergarten graduation? Not a chance. Sorry, kid. Idalia’s fault,” he added.

When asked if he ever feels guilty about not honoring commitments and being less-than-honest about why, he said, “I’m not a bad person; I’m just avoiding some personal responsibilities.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54