Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady caused quite a stir Tuesday, when he made some jokes during the Bucs visit to the White House.
Apparently, the seven-time Super Bowl Champion worked on developing his comedic skills at various sparsely-attended and underpromoted open mics around the Tampa Bay Area in preparation for this visit.
“What a great experience”, said Brady. “I was going out four or five times a week, going up twice a night sometimes. I learned that’s called ‘grinding’. Really effective means of practicing. Nobody was there so there was no pressure. And some, not all, of the comics were very supportive and helpful. I’ll definitely do this again when we win next year’s Super Bowl, Ooops, I mean ‘IF’ we win next year! Ha ha!
“There’s another joke. Looks like stand-up comedy is yet another thing I’m naturally good at”, he added.
“That’s who that was? Shit. I didn’t even realize”, said veteran local open micer Chip “Skippy” Dillard. “I didn’t really pay much attention to him or his set because I’m not really into that political stuff. It divides the room.”
“Who books that??”, said several other open micers, presumably referring to either the Super Bowl, the White House or both.
“I watched him a couple times. He wasn’t bad”, said Barry Glibworth, who also frequents the open mic circuit. “I was mostly paying attention to him so he didn’t try to steal any of my jokes. Not sure he deserved to be booked on a high profile gig like that, but whatever. Comedy isn’t really merit based; it’s all about who you know, not how funny you are, unfortunately.”
“Yeah, the local scene is just cliques and politics”, agreed a comic who identified himself as ShoeBooty96. “I can’t get booked at the local clubs but this MF comes out of nowhere and gets the White House? I book three rooms! Three!! What has Tom Brady ever done for anyone, besides hundreds of teammates and thousands of fans over the years? Nothing, that’s what. And this is why I can’t get up at the local clubs.”
“Hey, this is just more incentive for audiences to get out there and support their local open mic scene. You never know who might show up!”, said club booker Dwevyn Schlurtz. “Am I saying Channing Tatum, Andrei Vasilevskiy and John Cena are definitely coming out to my mic at PopToppers in Largo next Tuesday? I’m definitely not not not saying that.”