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Brandon, Seffner, Valrico combine as one community named “Three Amigos”

The Three Amigos Community formed encompassing Valrico, Brandon and Seffner

Brandon, Seffner, and Valrico have merged to create a new community named, “Three Amigos.” The local governments of each county were participating in a intramural kickball league, when after running through 15 cases of Michelob Ultra, they voted unanimously to become one community that would share all the benefits they each individually reaped.

“Valrico’s got that great water facility, Seffner has that manure plant, and Brandon has that awesome expressway! If we could all utilize each of those entities together, there’s no telling what could come next!” Said city chairman, Kendal Neemins.

There’s no official outline of what steps are yet to be taken to solidify this new community, however all participants remain very optimistic.

“We’re going to build roads from our counties into the other counties!” Bragged Vester Pevenson, dirt analyst from Seffner.

“All the joys that make our individual counties special, will now be expanded into the neighboring counties, making them each that much more special, as we will all be united as one!” Pevenson rejoiced.

“These fools have no idea what they’re doing.” Said a time-traveller.

“Trust me I’m from the future, and this has bad idea written all over it. I’ve been traveling through time and space looking for the cause of the universe’s destruction and I truly believe that this merger of Florida counties is the catalyst. Don’t ask me why or how, but my e-meter has been bleeping off the hook, and it only bleeps when it senses grave danger to the future. If I were them I would stop this immediately. However, I have no jurisdiction to interfere with events in this realm. I’m only allowed here on strict specific stipulations, one being that I do not touch anything or interact with anyone.” The time-traveller said.

“What about me? You just interacted with me?” I said to someone whom I can’t remember.

Right as I asked the question, I realized that no one was standing in the location in which I thought I was talking to someone. And for the life of me I can’t remember who he said he was and what he was doing here. What has happened to me? Where am I?

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds