Brittney Griner kneels for the anthem

Famous former Russian prisoner, Brittney Griner, chose not to stand for the national anthem last night, during the Phoenix Pride game against the Westville Whosits.

Griner, who was involved in a highly controversial prisoner swap between herself and someone who was a much more serious criminal than her, was thought to be grateful for being returned to the United States, however, by refusing to stand for the anthem it was clear that she is not.

“I wasn’t at the game.” Griner said.

“My team wasn’t playing in that game, I couldn’t hear the song, I don’t know how they got footage of me kneeling, I was at home eating out my girl, and they saw me kneeling. Like, it has nothing to do with being ungrateful. I mean sure I still vape and travel with my weed vape, and yea I would do it again in Russia, but like, I don’t know, just leave me alone.” Griner shared in frustration.

Despite her pleas, the jury is out, and the people of the USA are angry with her choice not to stand. 

“She should stand” Said Sally Stand, a professional anthem stander.

Ok, this one’s done, I’m watching 90 Day Fiancé: Last Resort in the AirBnB and I need to change my laundry soon. I might take an electric scooter to the cheese steak shop down the way. It’s 2am, but the cheese steak shop stays open late. Thank God for late cheese steaks. Now I think we can all stand for that.