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Ron DeSantis sucks d**k to prove he’s not gay

Ron D Dick

Governor Ron Desantis has made headlines again after publicly giving a blow job to a man during his last press conference to, “prove once and for all, that I’m not gay.” After relentless cyber-bullying, accusing the Governor of being gay, DeSantis decided to take matters into his own hands by bringing a male sex-worker to…

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The State of Florida Guide on how to get rid of unwanted migrants

Migrants

(Reposted as a public service on behalf of the Florida State Government as interpreted by Governor Ron DeSantis who is totally not a tyrant.) Do you have a problem with migrants infesting your neighborhood, raping and murdering you? Of course you do. Don’t bother looking out the window to see for yourself; take our word…

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“Don’t say incest” bill passes in Florida

Incest

The Family Togetherness Act, also known as the “don’t say incest” bill has passed in Florida congress with a vote of 4-3, making it illegal for teachers to mention incest in any government school building. The bill which highlights issues of families struggling with incestual relationships between parents who were born brother and sister who…

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Sex With Pregnant Women Now Illegal in Florida

No Sex With Pregos

Now that life begins at conception, sex with pregnant women will be considered sexual battery on a minor. “New and expecting parents will be required by law to sign a form stating they didn’t engage in any sexual contact after discovering the pregnancy.” Said Florida Governor Ron DeSantis during a press conference where he signed…

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DeSantis places restrictions on Kate Bush music

Kate Bush

Due to being featured prominently in the popular Netflix series Stranger Things, the Kate Bush Song “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God),” originally released in 1985, is a chart-topping hit again. “Yeah, and I’m sick of it,” said Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “Damn song is everywhere, all the time.” For that reason, among…

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