Chik-fil-A to use Tampa Bay Area locations to teach business classes

Chik-fil-A, the national fast food chain specializing in chicken sandwiches has announced plans for the use of some of their locations in the Tampa Bay Area on Sundays, when the restaurants are closed.

“We’re closed every Sunday so our staff can observe the biblical edict that Sunday is the Lord’s day but our restaurants themselves are soulless shells serving no purpose… like McDonalds employees,” said Ann Marie Chesterton, a company spokesperson. “We have all of these perfectly good meeting sites with chairs and stuff in them, sitting around doing nothing every Sunday,” said Ann Marie Chesterton, a spokesperson for the fast food chain. “Why not put them to use as schoolrooms?”

Beginning in September, classes will be offered at select locations for a curriculum that is being called “Doing Business the Chik-fil-A Way,” based on the philosophies and principles of the chain’s founder S. Truett Cathy.

“You’ll need to take the classes to get the full gist, but what it all comes down to is the importance of providing the highest quality products and service possible,” said Ms. Chesterton. “Make a good enough chicken sandwich, say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and nobody will even care that you’re openly homophobic.”

“Not saying we are, of course. Just that you can be.”