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College replaces diplomas with NFTs


Tampa Business School has officially become the first university to replace diplomas with digital NFTs during their graduation ceremony.

“People are used to getting a piece of paper when they finish their education, but that’s worthless!”

Said Dean Marry Lou Basil, Head Administrator of the Tampa Business School.

“We teach business here, and nothing is more valuable right now, and in the future, than an NFT. So instead of a paper that says you graduated, you get one of these NFTs which is a little virtual cowboy mixed with robot appendages and stuff, they’re really cool, it’s like trading cards of the future!” Smiled Basil, as she continued passing out NFTs to the graduates.

Parents are not completely on board with the college’s new unorthodox method, but are trying to understand.

“I had to pay over $100,000 for my child to graduate from this school and I’m starting to think that I might have just gotten ripped off.”

Basil then took her top off and shook her chest genitals to the crowded hall of graduates. Parents gasped and people could be heard jeering and yelling in surprise.

“I’m the queen of the world!” Laughed Basil, then she turned into a giant, glowing, pink, crystal dragon, which radiated waves of sticky green goo which got on all of the seats, making everything gross and weird.

“This makes more sense.” Said the parent from earlier complaining about being ripped off.

“See, I expect a giant, glowing, crystal dragon to replace diplomas with NFTs, but I don’t expect that behavior from a human. So this checks out.” The parent said, before turning and exiting the hall, unbothered by the fantastical occurrence.

Then Basil, changed from a dragon to a billion-tentacled beast which could levitate objects with the sound of it’s voice.

(Hey guys, I’m sorry I’m going to have to interject here, I’m only writing this article because a worm crawled into my brain through my ear-canal while I was swimming in the Dead Sea over Christmas break. When I try to write articles now, the worm takes over sometimes and makes me write stuff that didn’t happen. Yes, Basil turned into a dragon, but she did not turn into the tentacle beast, that’s writing from the worm. A little “worm-fib” we’ll call it. You might encounter more “worm-fibs” throughout my articles, but I will try to re-grasp hold of my brain and let you know when the worm slips in these fabrications so you’ll still be able to know what is real and what is fake.)

At the end of the graduation ceremony, which still took place, despite the Dean/Head Administrator of the school turning into monsters and doing strong things, the students took to the digital market to list their NFTs for sale.

Surprisingly the NFTs began selling for high prices of crypto currency with people asking, “Wow, are these the NFTs from the graduation where the lady changed from a dragon to a tentacle monster?” 

And the students would reply, “Yes! However, she only changed to a dragon, not a tentacle monster, that was a ‘worm-fib’ from the writer of the article who has a worm in his head which adds in falsehoods throughout articles for some reason, so yes it is from that graduation but there are some discrepancies.” 

To which people would reply, “Oh… ok, can I have my money back then?” To which some students would comply and others would say, “No, welcome to the real world, where ‘worm-fibs’ change the course of history and you just have to deal with it, the same way I had to. I’m not here to hold your hand through life, it’s a cold, dark, place, and it’s not fair, and you just have to learn to adapt and grow as you go.” Which is nice of them for at least trying to be upfront about things.

Other colleges have begun replacing diplomas with NFTs (worm-fib) and it’s expected to spread throughout the education-complex as the years move on.

Hey what’s that over there? Is that some worm food? It looks like some worm food. I should go and get it.

Sorry, that was just a trick to try and get the worm to exit my brain and it worked, it hopped out of my head then I smashed it on the table with the heel of my shoe. That worm f***er is dead now! (Worm-fib.)

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds