Confederate Memorial Park – Hillsborough County – Sunday, 4.14.2019
The giant Confederate flag flying on Interstate 75 in Tampa, a source of controversy for years, is being replaced. After several weeks of tense negotiations, the flag will come down and be replaced with the official flag of Wakanda from the Marvel motion picture Black Panther.
But not everyone is happy with the changes.
“I don’t even know where Wakanda is,” said Zeke McCaskill, a Riverview resident and supporter of the Confederacy, which has been dissolved for more than 150 years. “I mean, this is America. You should fly American flags. Love it or leave it!” When told the Confederate States of America actually tried to ‘leave it’ in the 19th century, McCaskill shrugged his shoulders and asked for a cigarette.
“Pamela,” a Tampa resident who drives past the flag every day on her way to work, was also unhappy with the change, but for a different reason. Due to the controversial nature of her beliefs, she did not want her real name to be used for this story.
“I actually prefer DC movies to Marvel,” she said. “I didn’t care much for Black Panther or Guardians of the Galaxy or any of the Avengers movies. I’d rather see a flag based on Suicide Squad. Or maybe that new Joker movie. That looks amazing!” Pamela has been Baker Acted for her erratic behavior in the past, and refuses to see Avengers: Endgame.
Prominent Tampa attorney Ken Clam was part of the negotiating team that led to the changes, which included giving the current land-owner free movie passes for life, a bottomless popcorn tub and complimentary Icee frozen drinks at the theater when the machine is working. He believes the end result will be beneficial for everyone involved.
“Look, that flag has been an issue for a while now. How did anyone get one that big, anyway? They don’t sell it on Amazon. The actual Confederacy didn’t have a flag that big,” Clam explained. “Florida doesn’t need that kind of controversy. Hopefully, we can put this issue to rest and go back to being known for messing up elections and bath salts.”