Fast food marquee is speechless

The Krystal at 2625 West Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa is reacting to recent events with shocked silence from the hamburger restaurant’s marquee.

“I mean, what can you say? What can anyone say?” said Krystal manager Culver McButterburger, referring to any number of existential horror stories taking place at every waking moment. “It’s all so… just… you know?”

“Sure, we could post a message about our breakfast combos, our Sackfuls® which feature up to 24 Krystal burgers and are available as combos for an upcharge which adds two medium fries or tots and two medium drinks. Our Pimento Cheese Chik® or BBQ Bacon Cheese Chik® chicken sandwiches – you know, so many people think you can only get a great chicken sandwich at Chik-fil-A and that just isn’t the case. We could mention any number of great menu items we have here at Krystal. Like our loaded fries and party tots and our chili cheese pups or our shakes and sundaes,” he said.

“But right now, considering what’s happening… well, what’s the point?”