FDOT closes MLK roads throughout Florida

The Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) has closed all streets, roads, boulevards and avenues named after the honorable Dr. Martin Luther King throughout the state immediately.

“To be clear, we want to make sure everyone knows this is not an edict that came down from the Governor as a stance against Critical Road Theory,” said FDOT spokesperson Ruth Bluth. “But we thought we’d save time and not wait for the inevitable, since that’s the road we’re going down.”

“Well, not that particular road, obviously,” she added, chuckling.

There are estimated to be over 90 thoroughfares in the state of Florida named for the renowned civil rights leader who was assassinated on April 4, 1968, by James Earl Ray in Memphis, Tennessee.

“We’d appreciate it if you didn’t refer to the incident as an assassination,” said Jim Glim, a media liaison from Governor DeSantis’s office. “If you have to mention it at all, we’d prefer you say he went bye bye.”

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard in Tampa runs between the Drew Park district to Plant City and is one of Hillsborough County’s major East-West connectors. There are a number of medical service providers along the route, including St. Joseph Hospital. How patients and caregivers are expected to access these facilities is unknown at this point.

“We’re not denying people’s access to healthcare,” said Ms. Bluth. “We’re denying people being able to get access to healthcare.”

“You can still reach the Checkers across the street if you come in through the back off North Gomez Street,” said Mr. Glim. “So you’re welcome.”