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First Lady coming to Florida!


A while back last year, First Lady Jill Biden (FLOTUS for short) and Dr. Anthony Fauci visited Tampa and we submitted a request for press credentials to see them. After what was obviously a thorough vetting by the Secret Service, the request was granted! Since then, FLOTUS’s office keeps in touch, specifically Asjia Garner: Communications Coordinator to the First Lady, sending us notices about her activities, travel plans and other stuff.

They even sent us a holiday card, signed by FLOTUS and somebody else!

Today, we received an email labeled “First Lady Jill Biden to Travel to Florida”. Cool! If she’s in town, maybe we can swing by and say hi and even thank Ms. Garner in person for being so kind and gracious to us.

On Thursday, June 23, at 3:15 PM ET, First Lady Jill Biden will arrive at Palm Beach International Airport in West Palm Beach, Florida. This arrival will be open press. 

– from the email

Hmm, that’s a little out of our jurisdiction. Plus, I have to work. Maybe John could pop in, but with gas prices the way they are, that’s probably a no-go.

On Friday, June 24, at 9:00 AM ET, the First Lady will arrive at Miami International Airport in Miami-Dade County, Florida. This arrival will be open press. 

– from the email

Geez, I think that’s even farther away. Or further. Is it further or farther? I still don’t know when to use which word. I also can never spell the word “occassion” correctly on the first try. Fuck! See? The quality of public education in this country is utterly abysmal. Frankly, it’s downright embarrassing.

At 10:00 AM ET, the First Lady and FEMA Administrator Deanne Criswell will participate in the Town of Surfside’s memorial event with Mayor Shlomo Danzinger in Surfside, Florida. The First Lady will deliver remarks. This event is in honor and remembrance of the 98 lives lost at the Champlain Towers South on June 24, 2021. 

– from the email

I didn’t know Surfside was an actual town; it sounds like the name of a town made-up for a movie that takes place in Florida or California. I definitely don’t know where it is, but it must be less than an hour from Miami. I deduced that from what’s mentioned in the previous paragraph because in spite of my shoddy public school education, I’m pretty smart. Anyway, this is still too far from the Tampa Bay Area for us to attend, and honestly our presence at a memorial remembrance for victims of a tragic event probably wouldn’t be appreciated as we are clowns and people might think we’re there to make light of the situation. We would never do that but I can see how people might think that we would.

At any rate, it looks like we won’t be meeting FLOTUS or Asjia Garner: Communications Coordinator to the First Lady this time. Hopefully the algorithm picks this up, Ms. Garner sees it and shares it with her staff, maybe even FLOTUS herself and they all have a nice chuckle about it.

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54