Florida authorizes drag queen hunting licenses

The State of Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) under special authorization from Governor Ron DeSantis has begun issuing hunting permits for drag queens in their natural habitats throughout the state.

“Here in Florida, when we have a problem with something, we kill that thing,” said DeSantis. “Plain and simple.”

“Um, that’s not actually a function that we serve,” said FWC Commissioner Duke Cloosters. “I’d just like to go on record saying I’m not okay with this.”

“Shut up and issue the killing permits, fish nerd,” replied DeSantis.

For $10, hunters will be issued an annually renewable license that will allow them to track, trap, shoot, wound, kill, maim or otherwise hamper drag queens year-round with no limits of any kind.

“Finally, an activity with drag queens where it’s not only appropriate to involve children, but encouraged,” said DeSantis.