Governor DeSantis’ handpicked panel of experts completely agrees with Governor DeSantis
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis held a public health roundtable in Tampa Thursday afternoon, where he invited a panel of scientists, researchers, doctors and various experts to weigh in on issues surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic, all of whom agreed that DeSantis has done a terrific job dealing with the pandemic.
“Huh. How about that”, said DeSantis.
The governor was joined by former Trump White House coronavirus advisor Dr. Ted Sheehy and epidemiologist Professor Jacob Moontz, as well as former University of Florida quarterback/New York Mets minor leaguer Tim Tebow and Cable Guy Dan “Larry The” Whitney at the Village Inn on North 30th Street near the University of South Florida campus.
The main theme of the roundtable was what a great job DeSantis has done and how stupid the media and public health experts have been and how, according to the panel, it’s unfairly mean to refer to the governor as “DeathSantis”.
The panelists largely rejected the steps taken by the U.S. to try to control the virus and expressed that more harm than necessary was caused by the public fear that developed around COVID-19. They did, however, agree with Florida’s approach to remain open, that the media sucks and that everything DeSantis says and does is awesome.
“Wow!”, said DeSantis. “Who could have predicted that the experts I specifically chose to participate in this discussion would be so supportive of me, the guy who specifically chose them?”
The governor asked the experts how they felt about different elements of the pandemic response, like lockdowns and masks and here’s what they had to say:
“Basically, everything the government has done in response to the pandemic is wrong, wrong, WRONG! That is with the exception of Ron DeSantis, in which case everything he’s done has been nothing but right, right, RIGHT! Also, masks are stupid and the media sucks.”
Dr. Ted Sheehy
“Lockdowns have proven to be the single biggest public health mistake in history in that they failed to protect vulnerable populations. I haven’t always felt that way but recent data, along with Ron getting me Super Bowl tickets, have led me to re-assess the situation.”
Professor Jacob Moontz
“When are we actually eating lunch? I was under the impression we would be having lunch. That’s the whole point of doing this at a restaurant at lunch time, isn’t it? Can I still get breakfast or does it have to be, like, lunch lunch?”
Tim Tebow, expert with experience in excellence
“Git-R-Done!”
Dan Whitney, star of ‘Delta Farce‘
“I mean, I’m normally not one to complain, but those people over there sat down way after we did and they already have their food. We haven’t even ordered yet.”
Tim Tebow, .163, 4 HR, 19 RBI, 2019 Syracuse Mets (AAA)
“See? See? There you have it; the experts have spoken”, said DeSantis, eating a slice of pecan pie out of Tebow’s view. “Nobody could have predicted this. Clearly, once again, I’m the man.”
