Governor DeSantis sends National Guard to Gasparilla

This morning, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis ordered The National Guard to the Gasparilla Festival in Tampa, citing that the foreign invaders pose a national security risk.

“We don’t negotiate with terrorists,” DeSantis said while ordering the National Guard to dig a moat around the Governors Mansion.

Although critics of the DeSantis Administration were quick to point out that handing over the key to the city was merely a symbolic tradition that held no merit, Governor DeSantis defended his decision stating the risk of losing the barrels spices and exotic silk were unacceptable.

He then referenced how other state officials are following suit; Texas Governor Greg Abbot of Texas tweeted a sign of support as he was later seen loading cannonballs on the roof of his Texas home

As onlookers watched as The National Guard set up blockades by the port and installed a strict 7pm lockdown for the city of Tampa, Ric Flair; the Grand Marshal this year at Gasparilla was no where to be found, as he was seen drinking at Gaspar’s Grotto at the time of the Pirate invasion.