Governor DeSantis unveils new office furniture

Following a barrage of on-line mockery directed at President Donald Trump after he addressed the media Thursday while seated at a small desk, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis offered a gesture of solidarity.

“I support our president, no matter what, as long as it’s a president I like and who likes me”, he said, surrounded by staff members, addressing the media from his satellite office in Tampa. “We’ll see what happens going forward, but for now I’m 100% behind the president who is President Trump!”

With that, DeSantis took a seat on a tiny chair behind a tiny desk before continuing his remarks.

“You know what? If the President of the United States feels that he can lead the greatest nation on earth from behind a fun-size executive desk, then by God I can lead the greatest state in the union while working with doll furniture”, he said. “I’m talking about Florida, by the way.”

“From now on, this is where I will be doing all of my governor business. I love it. I can just pick it up and carry it with me wherever I go, from Pensacola to Key West and all the places in between where Covid isn’t a problem”, he declared. “As you can see, it’s too small for me to wear a mask while I’m sitting at it. Oh well.”

“I’ll admit it’s kind of hard to write on such a small surface but these are difficult times for all of us”, DeSantis said, calling for unity. “Now more than ever, we all need to make sacrifices and stop saying things like our president is an infant who wears diapers and throws tantrums like an infant who wears diapers just because he throws tantrums like an infant who wears diapers.”

He then gestured to a small globe on his new desk and said, “Hey, it’s a small world!” When nobody except Kyle Lamb laughed, he said, “All right, everybody get out.”