Inconsistencies found in public restroom hygiene protocol

A public men’s room at a video store in Tampa’s Drew Park neighborhood reveals a dangerously inconsistent approach to promoting good hygiene practices.

“There are signs posted above the urinals and in the toilet stalls with very specific instructions on how one should wash their hands, including why it’s necessary, how long it should take and such helpful tips as ‘use soap and water’ and ‘dry thoroughly'”, said video store patron Howard Glyss. “The problem is there IS no soap or paper towels in the restroom!”

Tampa News Force sent an investigative team to inspect the restroom facility and amenities provided by the establishment and judging by physical appearance, the soap and towel dispensers have been empty since long before the posters went up.

“Yeah, those posters are pretty new”, confirmed store manager Rupert Roberts. “You can tell because there’s hardly any piss on them.”

“As far as the soap and towels, there’s never any of that stuff in there”, Roberts added. “We put up the posters because somebody from the county said we had to, but there typically isn’t a lot of resting going on in our restrooms, if you know what I’m saying.”

Glyss said this is disturbing and he may need to find a new video store to patronize. “I just come here to hook up with random skeevy guys for anonymous, unprotected sex, not to jeopardize my health.”