Liberal Communist Group Opens Charter School in Florida

The William Z. Foster School for Future Florida Communist charter school recently began accepting students for its upcoming 2023 school year.

“We believe Florida is going to be the future breeding grounds for the next great American Communist revolution,” said the founder of the school and principal, Joey Staves. “The kids that come to this school will learn the real communist skills that they can use outside of the classroom.”

Staves then took me on a tour of the school, showing off some of the classrooms where children can learn how to organize unions, build Molotov cocktails, and cannibalize rich people so that they can be eaten.

“Explaining communism to a child can be a challenging task as it is a complex socio-economic theory.” Said Staves.  

“However, here is a simplified explanation that might help. Communism is an idea about how people can share things fairly. It believes that everyone should have the same things and that everyone should work together to make sure no one goes without what they need. In a communist society, there would be no rich or poor people, and everyone would have what they needed to live a good life. People would work together to create things and share them with each other, so everyone could benefit. In theory, everyone would be equal and have the same opportunities.”

After his explanation, smoke grenades went off and the building was raided by a SWAT team.  I managed to escape, but Staves died in a hail of gunfire.