Lieutenant Dan Earns 2024 Viral Mistake Award
Joe Malinowski of Tampa Bay (the body of water not the geographic region) has been named the 2024 recipient of the prestigious Viral Mistake award, presented every year to the famous person least deserving to be famous.
Malinowski made headlines for deciding to ride out Hurricane Milton on an unregistered sailboat docked in Tampa Bay. His defiance had some observers celebrating him as an underdog folk hero and survivor they affectionately called “Lieutenant Dan.” A GoFundMe campaign on his behalf raised nearly $45 thousand dollars in contributions from morons. He was arrested on October 18 and charged with two outstanding warrants for failing to appear in court, and one charge of trespassing in a city park after warning.
His previous arrests include aggravated battery with a deadly weapon by the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office stemming from an argument he had with a woman sitting on a bench, then setting that bench on fire using gasoline and splashing some of it on her. Other past charges included an attempted breaking and entering, battery against a police officer, and drug possession, as well as “failure to transfer ownership of a vessel within 30 days.” His legal ownership of the boat is in question.
The win was something of a surprise because Hailey “Hawk Tuah” Welsh was considered a heavy favorite to take this year’s prize. However, she finished as a distant runner-up once it was determined that Malinowski is a considerably more irredeemably worthless piece of shit who contributes absolutely nothing of value to society, at least as far as deserving any level of recognition or acclaim, and that people who celebrated him are stupid.
He joins the list of previous winners which includes William Hung, Danielle “Bhad Bhabie” Peskowitz Bregoli and Andrew Tate among others.
