Man Heckling Joe Biden Turns Out to Be Mirror

Scranton, PA — Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden was recorded getting into a spirited discussion with what he called an “old man heckler” at one of his final campaign stops before the election. The heckler turned out to be a full-length mirror he was passing on his way to an interview. 

“He wouldn’t let me get a word in,” an exasperated Biden told the press. “I would talk and he would start talking. I’d point my finger at him, and he’d point his right back at me. It’s like, come on man, you low-bellied hornswaggler!” 

Biden press aide Nathan Drake said the encounter is not a reflection of the candidate’s ability to lead the country (or recognize an actual reflection). In fact, he said it was an example of Biden’s willingness to communicate his ideas to the public.

“Joe Biden will engage with anybody at any time,” Drake explained. “He doesn’t discriminate. An actual human being, or a reverse image of a human being. It doesn’t matter. Joe Biden is accessible to all people; even himself. That’s his promise to the American people.” 

For his part, Biden said he tried to keep his cool, but the “heckler” kept mocking him. He admitted to losing his patience toward the end of the encounter, and only an assistant prevented things from coming to blows.

“I was about to give him the ol’ Scranton Sarsaparilla,” Biden said, raising his fists. “If I see that guy again, he’s gonna get it. And believe me, I never forget a face.”