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Man regales local bar patrons with crazy story: “I could have beaten DeSantis”

A stranger wandered into a bar in St. Petersburg last night and proceeded to entertain patrons with a wild tall tale.

“I don’t know who that dude is, but he’s hilarious,” said Todd Filbert, who happened to be among the small crowd at Stankbooty’s Taproom on Central Avenue. “He was really telling some whoppers!”

The man arrived about 8pm and was quietly drinking beer for about 45 minutes when without provocation, he piped up and declared, “You wanna know something? I could have beaten Ron DeSantis in the gubernatorial election in November.”

A couple of people laughed at the word ‘gubernatorial’ because some people always laugh at that word for some reason, but everyone in attendance stopped what they were doing and paid attention to the man as he told his story.

Over the next two hours, the man detailed his views on abortion, disaster response, LGBTQ groups and their allies, immigration, critical race theory, public transportation and infrastructure among other issues facing the state, and how he differs from DeSantis, whom he referred to as a “despot” and a “tyrant” and whose views he criticized as “immature”, “backward-thinking” and “oppressive”.

“I had him at the debate. I had him when he refused to commit to holding the office for a full four-year term and not seek the Republican presidential nomination in 2024,” he said. “He was against the ropes. I had him!”

“I had him,” he added one more time, his voice tailing off sadly and softly before taking a long sip from his beer.

There was a brief pause before the bar exploded in laughter and applause.

“So funny!” said Cheryl Liebert, who was also there. “By the end, I was convinced he really believed he stood a chance of beating Ron DeSantis in an election for the office of Governor of Florida!”

“As if anybody could have beaten DeSantis in that election! Ha ha ha ha!”

“Yeah, that’s just ol’ Chucky C,” said bartender Evan Blevins. “He shows up here every couple of years. He’s harmless.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54