Mike Calta opens self defense class

After being featured on social media pushing a woman who was kind of lunging towards him, the radio guy Mike Calta, is hosting self-defense classes.

“Yea, I figured I could use this opportunity to show other people how to push a lady a little bit if she puts a phone in your face or something like that.” Said the radio guy, Mike Calta.

That’s it, that’s the whole story.

A lady put a phone in his face, he said “don’t.” She like, came forward at him, he pushed her, a security guard then intervened.

Do with that information whatever you want.

Talk about it if you want.

You’ve got to talk about something right?

There’s so many hours in the day, so much air to fill.

We’ve got to talk about it.

Shoot these waves from a tall tower to reverberate through us and around us at all times from many miles away.

Tune the frequency of this talk to a specific airwave.

You ever wonder what the radio people look like? You hear their voice and you make up their image in your head. Then sometimes, if you really care, you google them and you see. And sometimes you’re kind of right, sometimes you’re way off.

The article about Mike Calta starting the defense class is long over now by the way.

So if you wanted more jokes about that I already moved on.

Wait we have a caller.

“Can you do more jokes about Mike Calta opening a self-defense class?”

Hey caller, go fuck yourself! And I’m allowed to say fuck, because I don’t have any censors! Isn’t that nice!

Hold on we’re getting another call.

“Hey, I like that you moved on from the story, it wasn’t going to be funny anyway, I think you made the right move.”

It’s a back-handed compliment, but I’ll take it! Thanks for the love caller, make sure when you go to Bobby’s windows and tile furniture, you tell them the dog sent you.

OW OW OWUUUUU! (Wolf sound effect plays)

We actually have a lady in the studio today who looks like the lady who Mike Calta pushed, can you come over here for me honey? Sit closer to the mic.

“Hey, hi, yea you DMd me because you said I looked like the lady that the radio guy pushed.”

Yea, yea, I did, I did say that, can you come here a little bit closer to me for a second? And hold your phone up like you’re trying to film me.

“Ok, sure, like this?”

(Woman, cluelessly holds her phone up and begins wheeling her chair towards me in the studio)

Whoa, get away from me lady!

(I push her the in the same fashion that Mike Calta did)

Stingray, did you get that! Did you get that on video?

(Stingray, my producer, nods with pleasure with a wide grin on his face while he silently laughs and gives a thumbs up) 

Sorry, I pushed you hun, we’ve got a 2-for-1 coupon to Dony’s Pizza for you. Dony’s, the only pizza that pays me to promote them.

Alright I’m done pretending to be a radio person for a second.

Feel free to read this on the air or reference it in any way you’d like, we would be honored to get the attention and exposure. Send the cucklord army, or whatever whacky name you call the listeners, to our page, we could really use the engagement. 

Thank you! We love you!

Also, give Johnny B more hours.