New College is Hilarious Now

Just about a year ago, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced a plan to turn New College of Florida in Sarasota into a bastion of conservative ideals by replacing the college’s leadership, prompting concerns from many that the traditionally liberal institution could become restrictive and less inclusive.

“Well, it turns out they were worried about nothing,” said DeSantis’ appointed President Richard Corcoran. “Because we’re the funniest college in Sarasota!”

“Which might not sound that impressive but there’s one that makes circus clowns here,” he added, referencing the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College, which ceased operating in 1997.

Dean of Students Dave Rancourt recently performed a stand-up comedy set at McCurdy’s that featured jokes about exposing himself, getting anally violated by an army drill sergeant with a baton and being raped by Amazon tribesmen. The whole set is in this video:

“There’s nothing more inclusive than comedy,” said Rancourt. “Sure, we terminated an LGBTQ librarian, abolished the school’s Office of Outreach and Inclusive Excellence, eliminated the women and gender studies programs, and got rid of a  dorm that was designated for LGBTQ students but even the fags like jokes about butt stuff. Everybody loves to laugh! No homo.”