Nine Injured in Dueling Piano Bar Mishap

Nine people were injured and taken to Tampa General Hospital in the wake of a shooting at Davey O’Bubbles Good Timey Dueling Piano Bar in Brandon last night.

The establishment’s owner, Davey O’Bubbles, who, due to his name, had the limited choices of owning a dueling piano bar or yet another local car wash, explained, “It’s a big misunderstanding! What happened is there’s a bit early on in the show where one of the piano players insults the other one. Then that piano player reacts by saying, ‘you have no honor sir!’ and they both take out these toy pistols and pretend to shoot each other. Like a duel, get it? Dueling pianos? It’s cerebral. The audience loves it every time.”

“Except last night, one of the piano players was this new guy, Mike Llipps, and I guess he didn’t know or understand the bit.”

Llipps reacted to the challenge issued during a performance of ‘You Give Love a Bad Name’ by pulling out a fully functional AR-15 assault-style rifle, yelling “Never bring a toy gun to a real dueling piano fight!” and firing in the general direction of rival piano player Jeff Swiffer with several stray rounds going into the gathered crowd.

“Oh no, I understood the bit perfectly,” said Llipps, currently being held without bail. “I’m just a guy who plays piano, owns an AR-15 and was ready to snap. That’s all.”

”I would go to that show every damn week!” said patron Heather Pyle who was among those not wounded.

“This is why I hate working with amateurs,” said Swiffer, who is expected to be released later today and will be performing at the same bar with Llipps next Friday night.