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Renaissance festival guillotine accidentally cuts mans penis off

Man at Renaissance Festival accidentally gets his penis cut off

A guillotine at the renaissance broke loose and accidentally cut a mans penis off while he was posing for a selfie.

“I thought it would be really funny to put my dick through the guillotine and take a picture of it for Twitter, but unfortunately while I was doing that, my right hand slipped off my thigh and pushed a cable that was holding the blade up, and down came the blade, and off with my head it was.” Said the man who is choosing to remain nameless for obvious reasons.

“The cops didn’t fine me and nobody got mad at me, everyone just felt really bad for me. In fact some people actually took me out and bought me beer after because they wanted to cheer me up. I made friends that night, I even actually got lucky.” The man winks at me.

“You got lucky?” I ask.

“How is that possible?” I say.

“Well, I mean even without my thing I can still be sexual man, don’t be so closed-minded.” He said.

“I can do other stuff, even without my genitals, I think everybody knows that. There are lots of other things I can do, where I can feel good mentally, but yes, I guess I can’t technically ‘orgasm’ under the traditional terms.”

The man gets very upset.

“Seriously dude? Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? Answering lame questions about my disfigured reproductive organs? I thought the world would be more sensitive about it.”

“I’m sorry.” I say.

“I’m a bit ignorant myself on the topic which is why I was so blunt with my approach, I’m curious, and I guess I try to make light of situations which aren’t exactly light, and that might be a personality flaw on my end, and I’m trying to be more conscious of those kind of things, so again, I apologize for coming at you wrong.”

Then he forgave me and we kissed. And then I did learn a thing or two about intercourse without proper genitalia. I’ll tell you that much for sure. Oh boy!

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

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