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Tampa woman accused of being fun at parties

Safety advocate

Following an exchange between young women in Tampa regarding Gasparilla activities, a local life coach is the victim of a slanderous accusation.

A group of six to eight University of Tampa students was excitedly sharing intended plans to drink copious amounts of alcoholic beverages and engage in indiscriminate sexual activity with strangers during today’s annual pirate invasion activities when Rhonda Splinx somehow took it upon herself to interject some unsolicited advice into what was supposed to be a private conversation.

“That’s fine. ladies; up to a point. By all means, have fun. But for God’s sake, be careful,” said Splinx. “It’s okay to enjoy liquor, as long as it’s in moderation. Drinking to excess leads to getting drunk and losing control of yourself, hampering your judgment and lowering your inhibitions. Drinking and driving is illegal. You could be impaired and get into an accident and hurt or kill yourself or someone else.”

“Then there’s irresponsible promiscuity,” she continued. “Of course you don’t want a sexually transmitted disease or even worse, an unwanted pregnancy. Beyond that, you don’t want your personal reputation to be damaged. I mean, have fun but be responsible and have some self respect.”

“Maybe instead of getting drunk, have a milkshake. Maybe instead of hooking up with some random person for sex, wear a cute-but-modest outfit and wave a colorful flag around. You know, pirate fun!”

At the conclusion of this lengthy diatribe, one of the young women in the chat replied, “Wow, you must be lots of fun at parties,” which elicited LOLs and ROFLs and even an ROFLMAO from the other participants who were not Splinx.

“I was honestly shocked by that. No one has ever, ever, ever said I was fun at parties,” said Splinx. “Never. In any context. Ever.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54