New chain of sports bars for ladies slated to open in Tampa Bay

A brand-new chain of sports designed to appeal to families, and focusing on women, opened yesterday with their first location in Brandon.

“Welcome to Queef O’Brady’s,” said owner and manager Tommy Wiffleballz. “The first sports bar by men for women to watch sports played by men and eat chicken wings served by women.”

“This is great. I love sports and I’d say I’m pretty knowledgeable; I just find the bro-centric atmosphere at most standard sports bars off-putting and a little intimidating,” said Lisa Coulier, a woman. “I don’t want to be pandered to; I just want to watch the Bucs, the Lightning and the Rays with some cold beer and spicy chicken wings, without a bunch of knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers screaming like chimpanzees tweaking on Adderall.”

“Mommy, what was that noise?” asked Kevin, her 8-year-old son who was watching a Lightning game with her.

“That was mommy being able to relax and watch a game in peace for once,” she answered, leaning back in her chair and sighing contentedly.