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State Fair burns down after giraffe queefs

Giraffe queef

The State Fair was shut down after Lucy the giraffe released vaginal flatulence which caught fire due to the new fire breather freak show exhibit being pushed closer to the giraffe enclosure due to budget cuts.

The gaseous ball of flame engulfed the entire tent in fire within moments, luckily Lucy, all the other animals, and the freaks, were all able to safely make it out of the burning tent.

The fire grew and burned up all the impossible fair games, revealing metal structures and contraptions which render the games unbeatable.

The deep fried cotton candy stand exploded with colorful unicorn rainbow oil which caused the whole fair to catch fire, all different color flames like a neo-future apocalypse.

The clowns tried spraying the water from their flowers to put out the flames, but it was not enough.

The expo center was saved because they dumped out all the hot tubs and that quenched the flames, sparing all the custom magnetized jewelry.

“Thank God my freedom pens are safe!” Said Mezowitz kloptitskie, holding up her freedom pen, showing me the constitution laser engraved pen.

“Thanks can I have that?” I said.

“No!” She said, then ran away, scowling back at me for even asking.

“What, I just wanted to have the freedom pen, I want one!” I shouted.

“Are you talking about freedom pens?” A voice rang behind me.

I turned to see who was addressing me and said, “Yes, I’m talking about freedom pens.”

“Oh you’re never going to get one of those.” The stranger laughed with a smirk, face mostly covered by a lowered black suede cowboy hat with indian inspired trim around the brim.

“Why not? I want one.” I said, facing the man now.

“I’ll show you why.” The man said, tilting his head up now, locking eyes with me, big wide-eyed psychotic eyes ripping diggers through me, making me feel like I’m not safe anymore and something bad is probably going to come of this…

Part 2 coming soon

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds