Tampa Announces Fire Street Development

One of Tampa’s newest billionaires is gearing up to completely revitalize an entire city street known for randomly catching on fire.

“This is a highly radioactive former mine that was decommissioned and we fast-tracked the zoning change to allow luxury apartments to be built,” said Morgoratte Mattanamy, founder of Mattanamy Flats, a luxury apartment developer. “We are number one in converting EPA-designated Superfund sites into luxury apartment communities.”

The new Fire Street development will rival Downtown Tampa’s Water Street development in cost. 

“We promise to be just as expensive as the Water Street development but with the added amenity of being 30 minutes away from Downtown Tampa,” said Mattanamy, who was giving me a tour of the land. 

During the groundbreaking ceremony, the shovels that were used caught on fire and a local dignitary passed away from severe burns. 

“Our promise to future luxury apartment seekers is that we will have the fire problem under control by the time Phase 1 is complete,” said Mattanamy.