Carl Kroboks of Tampa is facing a personal dilemma and doesn’t have much time to solve it.
“I got this party pass offer at a local Tex-Mex restaurant for me and nine friends to celebrate my birthday this month,” he said. “And I don’t know what to do about it.”
The offer, received via email from Slippery Julio’s Good Times Cantina in Carrollwood on his birthday about three weeks ago, reads as follows with seemingly simple, straightforward instructions for redemption:
“Hola amigo and ¡Feliz cumpleaños!! Celebrate with us during your Birthday month! Call and mention the promo code ‘FIESTA’ to make a reservation for FREE DINNER FOR 10 during the month of your birthday!
Drinks and gratuity not included“© Slippery Julio’s Good Times Cantina, a division of Armageditech Systems Inc.
“That’s nice. Very generous!”, he said. “But I don’t have nine friends and my birthday month ends tomorrow.”
“In fact, it would seem that I don’t really have any friends,” he said. “I mean sure, I know nine people. I’m not that pathetic. But none of them even wished me Happy Birthday so maybe I am.”
He said he joined the restaurant’s birthday club after a visit for half-price fajita night last August. “I sign up for stuff like that all the time without thinking much about it”, he said. “I guess I should have checked the fine print. I could have tried to meet some people who give enough of a fuck about me to spend one evening eating free chimichangas with me.”
He said his options are limited and with February ending tomorrow, he might just have to miss out on taking advantage of the offer.
“I called earlier this month and asked if I could just come and eat dinner alone ten times and they said no”, he said. “I guess I’ll just go tomorrow night and get one free dinner for myself. It says ‘up to 10 people’ so they said that would be okay. Not ideal, but what choice do I have? What am I supposed to do, chase people down and ask them to eat dinner with me for my birthday? ‘Hey, please eat a meal with me; come on, it’s free!’ Jesus, talk about pathetic.”
“It kinda sucks that my birthday falls in the year’s shortest month, but to be honest, that’s not really much of a factor.”
Staff at the restaurant is making preparations to accommodate Mr. Kroboks on his special day. Lisa Plint, a server scheduled to work tomorrow said, “God, I hope I don’t get him in my section. My dog just died last weekend and I’d rather drink bleach than have to wait on some pitiful nobody eating birthday dinner all alone.”