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Tampa Man Only Gets His News From Satire Magazines

Tampa New Force fan and avid reader, Will Green, refuses to consume mainstream media. For the last 5 years, his news has exclusively come from TNF, but also sometimes The Onion. 

“I just don’t buy into the lizard people’s narrative anymore. Satire is for the people.”

Green explains he can no longer relate to mainstream sheeple. He quotes local satire headlines to spice up conversations. 

“The other day, I was on a Skype call with my family. One of my cousins brought up COVID and I was like… did you hear a St Pete woman cured Corona Virus with the crystal in her purse?”

Green seemed pleased with himself. He smirked as he said “everybody in my family hates me.”

A small tear came out of his eye, as he pulled out a Tampa News Force handkerchief to dry it.

“I’m just… so… incredibly grateful for you satirists. You are doing the lord’s work, publishing fake news.”

Yea, satire is pretty great.

Shellie H

About Shellie H

Shellie H is a Virgo Sun, Aries Moon, Libra rising, and exclusively drinks water out of up-cycled kombucha bottles.