Tampa News Force, renowned for the best and most comprehensive coverage of Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady has decided to reduce the amount of time and resources previously devoted to that pursuit.
Readers may have already noticed that we haven’t been doing post-game reports on Bucs games like we did last season.
There are two very good and big reasons for that. Number one is that Tom Brady just isn’t a big news story anymore. He’s here, he’s not new in town anymore, and we’re all used to everything he does. Oh, he’s amazing at football? Well, duh. That’s not news. What is there to say at this point? Big whoop, anyway. Lots of Bucs are amazing at football. Maybe we should pay more attention to Vita Vea.
The second and much, much bigger reason is that Tom doesn’t seem to appreciate or even acknowledge all the fantastic coverage we’ve provided on his behalf. Would people even know he plays here and led the Bucs to the Super Bowl, which just happens to be the world championship of football, by the way, if not for us? Of course, there’s no way to know for sure but it’s highly unlikely. And has he ever invited us over for a barbecue or a boat ride? Has he ever given us a shout-out during an interview? Has he ever flashed a secret hand signal to us on TV during a game to let us know he loves us as much as we love him? No. No, he has not. Not even once.
We wrote ONE article about Rays outfielder Brett Phillips and he acknowledged us on Instagram. Is Tom Brady better than Brett Phillips? For all of Brady’s success, he’s never once walked off a World Series win with a base hit in the bottom of the 9th with two outs, so that’s AT LEAST up for debate.
So guess what, Tom? If you’re not news, there’s no reason for Tampa NEWS Force to devote valuable headline NEWS space to you and your exploits. If you feel like doing something newsworthy, like being nice to us, let us know and we’ll cover that. Until then, enjoy your descent into obscurity and irrelevance and being a huge nobody.
Oh God, we’re sorry! We didn’t mean that. None of it! This was a joke. Yeah, we’re just kidding around. Do you guys think Tom saw this? Please don’t show it to him. Jesus, what a huge mistake this was.