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Tampa woman allowed to be racist because she had to work today

Kaitlyn Lynnkate of Tampa is a disgruntled office employee due to having to work today, which is Juneteenth, a federal holiday.

“It just sucks,” she said. “Almost all of my friends were off. How nice would it have been to have a three-day weekend? It isn’t fair.”

“She’s a hundred percent correct; it isn’t fair,” said Robert Halfwidth, a spokesperson for Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “As such, she is completely justified in her hatred of Black people and in the state of Florida under Governor DeSantis, completely within her legal rights to exercise and express that blind rage.”

“Wait a minute; I never said anything about hating Black people,” said Lynnkate. “It’s my job that sucks. The only federal holidays we get off are New Year’s Day, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas. That’s only like half of them and that’s what’s unfair. I certainly don’t have any ‘blind rage’.”

“Wow, she had to work today? Like, 9 to 5 for a regular weekday? That does suck”, said Kevin McNeal, an African-American man in St. Petersburg, who was off all day and took his family to Busch Gardens. “Racism is never excusable but I guess I can see why she feels an untethered wrath toward all Black people.”

“Again, I never said… ‘untethered wrath’?!? Where is that coming from?” asked Lynnkate. “I don’t hate anybody! I have Black friends!”

“Of course you do”, replied McNeal.

“See? This is the problem with these special concessions that cater to fringe special interest groups,” said Mr. Halfwidth. “Decent, hard-working, honest, law-abiding, God-and-Black-people-fearing white people are made to feel shame, even though they were never a part of something bad, including acknowledging reaping any benefit from things that may or may not have allegedly happened thousands of years ago. And that’s just wrong.”

“While people on the ‘woke’ left will call someone like her a disgusting filthy racist – but mostly, specifically her – and also, that she’s ugly and fat – we say she is merely an individual seeking justice,” he said. “Sure, it seems like she’s whining, ‘Waaah! What about meeee?’, and maybe she is, but that’s her right!”

“I don’t agree with any of that! What is happening? I am not a racist! I’m not whining! I never…”, protested Lynnkate. “Wait, are people really saying I’m fat?”

“This is why Governor DeSantis is working so hard to fight against those who would impose the liberal ‘woke’ agenda on all of us”, said Halfwidth. “Well, not today. He’s off. It’s a federal holiday.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54