Hours after Tom Brady tweeted his unretirement, the average rent price in Tampa skyrocketed by 15%.
The move was made after a message which circulated on landlords.net, explained how all rental owners could gouge their customers and they couldn’t do anything about it.
“Everybody loves Tom Brady, if my tenant won’t pay the rent increase, I can find a million douche bags who will pay my new price.” Said Kingsley Morton, local real estate owner in Hillsborough County.
“The city is full of people who finally woke up to the fact that Florida is much nicer than whatever gloomy prison they’d previously lived. It’s now our time! And by ‘our’ I mean other wealthy people with the means to exploit a lucrative demand.” Morton proliferated.
The Tampa housing market is now one of the hottest in the world, spurring such television shows as “Selling Tampa”, “Tampa Baes”, and “Touching Tampa.”
“The market will crash once again once Brady retires, because the world is a fickle, shallow, place, and the livelihood of an entire city can be based on one persons athletic ability a-la-Lebron-James, so we don’t really feel bad taking advantage of an opportunity” Morton guffawed.
Then he decided to end our chat on Omegle, and I was partnered with another person I began to interview. It wasn’t about anything interesting though. Mostly about my shoe size and what I liked to do when I took showers.