Top Billionaires in Tampa Bay Ranked
Billionaires love Tampa Bay, not only is this city pleasant to look at, but it also has the added benefit of being an open sandbox for rich people to develop on.
While most cities require years of planning and amenities that serve all its citizens, Tampa does not care about poor people. The City of Tampa will let billionaires do whatever they want because having one billionaire is better than having 1000 homeless camps with a million people in them.
So today, we are celebrating all the great billionaires who are making this city a better place for themselves and people who can afford to hang out with them.
5. (Redacted)
The founder of (redacted) paid us a lot of money to take out this paragraph we wrote about him, but they are very excited to live in Tampa and this city is lucky to have them.
4. (Redacted)
(Redacted) made his money exploiting Florida’s natural resources. When asked about it for this article, we were told that if we published their name, we would be assassinated. So we made the difficult decision of redacting their name, but they are pretty great and if it wasn’t for the threat of assassination, we would share all the great things this person does for the city.
3. (Redacted)
Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it can remove your name from our website.
2.(Redacted)
The founder of (Redacted) has helped exploit the low-income community in Tampa in his image. Their Tampa-based business made billions in revenue and if the owner is not a billionaire, they paid money for us not to publish their name like they were billionaires.
1. (Redacted)
Even though the name is redacted, we assured the billionaire we had listed as number one that anyone who has spent time in Tampa will assume they are the number one billionaire in Tampa. They were adamant we remove their name, even though we believe that they made their money ethically. Some might wonder if getting one billion dollars seems like a goal that is only attainable by exploiting at least a thousand people out of a million dollars. The owner of (redacted) only had to exploit 10,000 millionaires out of $100,000 which isn’t that much for them to begin with. Because of the way they scammed so many rich people into believing Tampa is a great place to live, (redacted) is the best billionaire in Tampa and we as a city, we love their influence and the way they are making rent more expensive for everyone living here even though the amenities compared to the price of living don’t add up.
