Skip to content

Woman leaves devastating Yelp! review, based entirely on music played on jukebox

Jukebox Yelp

Gwyneth Poltroon of St. Petersburg recently left an absolutely scathing review of a local restaurant on Yelp, the web site and app that publishes crowd-sourced reviews about businesses.

Poltroon recently visited Shucksters, a popular seafood restaurant in Gulfport and was extremely displeased with the music being played on the TouchTunes jukebox.

“If I could give zero stars, I wouldn’t. Because I’d rather give NEGATIVE FIVE stars! This place is awful. Just terrible.
For starters, when we walked in ‘Fancy’ by Reba McIntre (sic) was playing. I get that this is the kind of place that appeals to lowlifes but that’s kind of on the nose, isn’t it? That was followed by some garbage by Trace Adkins or Luke Bryan or maybe both, plus… I don’t know, Pitbull maybe? Gross.
Just when I thought it couldn’t possibly be any worse, here comes… you guessed it… ‘Wagon Wheel’! How utterly pedestrian. Who’s not sick to death of that song? Find them and bring them to me so I can chop their tacky heads off and make their children watch.
You know what? Make it negative 10 stars!
This place suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!!!!!!”

Yelp review from Gwyneth P, submitted August 18, 2022

There was no mention of the food, service, atmosphere, cleanliness, cost or other aspects which typically garner mentions in Yelp reviews.

“Yeah, all of that stuff was fine. Excellent, in fact,” she said. “But that jukebox was pure trash.”

Ginger Tarfman, a manager at Shucksters replied to the review:

“Thank you for sharing your feedback with us. I’m very sorry you had such an unpleasant visit with us here at Shucksters. We always strive to provide the best possible experience in every way to our guests but it appears we came up short with you and for that I apologize on behalf of myself and the entire Shucksters team.
But I am a little confused; it appears that your dissatisfaction is based solely on the music being played on the jukebox, and if that is the case, I’d just like to point out that we, Shucksters, have no say in that. All the songs played are selected and paid for by the patrons who want to hear that music. You can play whatever music YOU like by downloading the TouchTunes app, purchasing credits and selecting songs.
I hope this helps and that you will visit again, and hear music that you enjoy. : ) “

Poltroon said she read the response but will “never, ever, ever, EVER” visit Shucksters again.

“Unlike the mouth-breathing knuckle draggers who eat there, I have EXCELLENT taste in music and have no intention of casting my pearls before that swine.”

She then cranked up “Stuck Like Glue” by Sugarland on her minivan’s CD player, rolled up her window and sped away.

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54