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20 Tips to get your New Year Started Right

Stop living a lie, be yourself this 2020

20. Stop living a lie

Stop living a lie, be yourself this 2020

Be the real you this year, stop lying to others and surround yourself with only those who can handle your baggage.

19. Quit Wasting Your Energy on Imaginary Arguments in Your Head

Win those imaginary arguments

Why are you spending so much time and energy arguing with someone who isn’t there?

18. Eat more plant-based meat alternatives

The future is green!

This hyper processed alternative to dead animals is just as good as the real deal. Swap out some of your meat dishes with a plant-based alternative.

17. Learn to Punch/Kick

Punching is a necessary life skill

Everyone is going to want to fight you because you’re being yourself. Learn to defend your real self from haters today!

16. Start fighting people on the street

Fight people on the street

Now that you know how to fight, practice on people who are walking towards you.

15. Get rid of everything you own

Live clutter free this year

Take a good look at everything you own, now grab it all and toss it in the trash because you’re not going to need it.

14. Sell your organs

Get drunk and let this tip happen

Getting black-out drunk and selling your organs is a rite of passage to adulthood.

13. Harvest roadkill meat

Street meat is free and healthy

It’s free meat! Get that protein.

12. Stop using your turn signal

Turn signals are for losers

Make 2020 the year you stop being a bitch. Learn to drive like a real Florida person.

11. Finish that app idea you started

Apps are huge investments

Quit talking about it and finish it today!

10. Become a millionaire

Get a million dollars today!

Solve your money problems this year by becoming a millionaire today! All you have to do is decide how many millions you want and then focus hard. Manifest it!

9. Go into debt

Use plastic for all your purchases

It takes money to make money. Go into debt with hopes of becoming rich someday!

8. Stop reading

Reading is so 2019

Reading is no longer necessary, and it’s for losers. Stop reading this article. I don’t care.

7. Sneak on to a yacht

Adventure for real on a yacht

Most people that own a yacht, own multiple yachts. They won’t notice if you sneak on and party for a little while.

6. Go stand-up paddle boarding

Enjoy a relaxing stand-up paddle board trip

Mike runs a great paddle tour, schedule your M&M Paddle Tour today!

5. Rent and destroy an electric scooter

Electric Scooters need to be destroyed

You see these things littering the streets, take one out of commission and help out drivers in Tampa.

4. Vote Republican

Vote, even if you're republican

What’s the worst that could happen?

3. Take a fat dump

You're going to need a lot of toilet paper

You deserve it!

2. Stop tipping

Quit tossing your money in the trash

Save a couple bucks and show people working for scraps that they should work harder.

1. Join a cult

Join my cult

Become a part of something bigger than you, and then do as the leader says!

Josh Santos

About Josh Santos

Writer and award-winning videographer and documentarian. Instagram: @HashtagSantos