20 Tips to get your New Year Started Right

20. Stop living a lie

Be the real you this year, stop lying to others and surround yourself with only those who can handle your baggage.
19. Quit Wasting Your Energy on Imaginary Arguments in Your Head

Why are you spending so much time and energy arguing with someone who isn’t there?
18. Eat more plant-based meat alternatives

This hyper processed alternative to dead animals is just as good as the real deal. Swap out some of your meat dishes with a plant-based alternative.
17. Learn to Punch/Kick

Everyone is going to want to fight you because you’re being yourself. Learn to defend your real self from haters today!
16. Start fighting people on the street

Now that you know how to fight, practice on people who are walking towards you.
15. Get rid of everything you own

Take a good look at everything you own, now grab it all and toss it in the trash because you’re not going to need it.
14. Sell your organs

Getting black-out drunk and selling your organs is a rite of passage to adulthood.
13. Harvest roadkill meat

It’s free meat! Get that protein.
12. Stop using your turn signal

Make 2020 the year you stop being a bitch. Learn to drive like a real Florida person.
11. Finish that app idea you started

Quit talking about it and finish it today!
10. Become a millionaire

Solve your money problems this year by becoming a millionaire today! All you have to do is decide how many millions you want and then focus hard. Manifest it!
9. Go into debt

It takes money to make money. Go into debt with hopes of becoming rich someday!
8. Stop reading

Reading is no longer necessary, and it’s for losers. Stop reading this article. I don’t care.
7. Sneak on to a yacht

Most people that own a yacht, own multiple yachts. They won’t notice if you sneak on and party for a little while.
6. Go stand-up paddle boarding

Mike runs a great paddle tour, schedule your M&M Paddle Tour today!
5. Rent and destroy an electric scooter

You see these things littering the streets, take one out of commission and help out drivers in Tampa.
4. Vote Republican

What’s the worst that could happen?
3. Take a fat dump

You deserve it!
2. Stop tipping

Save a couple bucks and show people working for scraps that they should work harder.
1. Join a cult

Become a part of something bigger than you, and then do as the leader says!