5 Ways to Legally Not Pay Your Taxes
A lot of people will tell you that you have to pay your taxes. These people, and pardon my language here, are fucking idiots. Frankly, and hate to say it, for a lack of better term, but these people are just dirt. And you need to steer clear of these people. Because there are a number of ways that you can legally not pay your taxes. These are those ways:
- Be a child
Children do not have to pay taxes. Unless they’re like wealthy child actors. I think McCauley Caulken had to pay taxes. I’m not sure if I spelled his name right. But yea, the kid from the Home Alone franchise, he may have had to pay. But all other kids, like regular kids, don’t need to. So don’t be fooled children, you do not need to pay taxes.
- Make under $12,000 per year
If you make under a certain amount of money every year, you’re considered impoverished. That’s not a bad thing. Because then you don’t need to pay taxes. The government has decided you’re worthless and you don’t need to contribute to their plans of global violence. Also, this may not be the right dollar amount, I’m just guessing, I know it’s something like that. Little tip to keep in mind when it comes tax time.
- Be disabled
I have no idea if this one is true, but it sounds like it would be. If you’re a quadriplegic I bet you don’t have to pay taxes. But Stephen Hawking probably did though, so maybe that’s not true. I don’t know.
- Be dead
Dead people don’t have to pay taxes. Good luck making Dr. Seuss and other canceled children’s story-book-writers pay taxes. They won’t. Dead people are allowed to not pay anymore. One of the many benefits of not being alive. No taxes.
- Have compromising material against the current Treasurer
If you have a video or something of the current tax collector doing something compromising, you can use that against them to let you out of paying taxes. Ultimately you may get in trouble, but people like Jeff Epstein and Puff Daddy got away with it for about 30 years, so you’ll really be able to ride high during that period. Just be willing to go to prison at some point in the future. This one is also not a “legal” way to not pay taxes, but if you’ve learned anything from this article, it’s that you’re allowed to break the rules. Thank you for reading.
