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5 ways to legally not wear your mask

  1. Wear it on your arm.

    When people come up to you and say, “Hey wear your mask!” You can say, “I am wearing it!” And show them your arm. “It doesn’t say where I have to wear it on my body, legally it’s on me, I’m complying to the rule.” They won’t have a comeback and they will let you go through because they know that you love freedom and the country equally.
  1. Tell people you have an allergic reaction to masks that makes you violently sh*t your pants

    If you tell them that you will immediately defecate your pants and they will have to clean it up. If you threatened to dirty their space odds are they will back down, and if they don’t then just release your bowels in the store then leave. Keep an extra pair of pants and underwear in the car.
  1. Pretend to be a cop

    If you wear a police officer uniform around people will assume you are the authority and can decide to abide by certain rules or not. In this case you can lead by example by proudly not wearing a mask causing a wave effect of others taking their masks off. You must be ready to face real authority at any time and your cover will be blown so this is a riskier option, but extremely effective.
  1. Tell people you’re Dr. Fauci’s cousin

    Create an elaborate hoax/conspiracy that you are related to Doctor Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Insitute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, and you have secret inside information that the China Virus is not real, and in fact masks make you sicker, so “to hell with it take your masks off and live free!” You need to be a very influential speaker for this one to work, must sell the conspiracy with passionate charisma.
  1. Start your own sovereign nation

    If you create your own nation state with it’s own rules, you don’t have to abide by the rules of another country. Get some land and begin your new utopia with you at the center of it. Not only do you get to change the mask rule, you get to change or create any rule you can imagine. Now that’s a good deal.
John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds