Andrew Tate opens mosque in South Tampa

Controversial social media figure and former kickboxer and Romanian prisoner, Andrew Tate, has broken ground on a new mosque in the Hyde Park area of Tampa Bay.

After being released from a Romanian prison, he claimed, “I want to be around my people,” and apparently his people are in Tampa.

“I know that through my religion and my beliefs that I can help the masculine warriors of Tampa become just as rich and powerful as myself.” Tate said, while smoking a cigar on the balcony of his Eastern European penthouse terrace, via FaceTime.

“Now is the time for Tampians to embrace me and my faith and, you too can be even more controversial and polarizing than you already are. I mean, you lost Brady, you guys need someone to fill that void.” Tate said, throwing an empty pizza box from his balcony, which then prompted the blaring of police sirens from below.

“Oh s**t they know where I am now, I need to leave before they catch me again.” Said Tate, hopping on to his brothers’ back, piggyback style, running down the corridor of his home.

There will be a cover charge to worship at Tate’s new mosque, however you will get to enjoy a massage from a beautiful person who is choosing to be there and happy to do this job.

If you have an Andrew Tate tattoo, you will get a discount on your entrance fee.

The new facility is 50,000 square feet and will also double as a practice ground for the Tampa Lightning spring training camp.

The mosque will also serve margaritas because even though that’s not customary, “I don’t exactly follow everything to the tee” said Tate.

Alright, this article sucks, I should have never bothered writing it, I had just already written an earlier one and I figured might as well write 2 or I won’t feel any sort of accomplishment if I stop now, so that’s why I wrote this one.

Sometimes just one isn’t enough, you think if I already started writing I need to keep doing it while I’m sitting here. Because once you move away and stop writing you don’t know when you will write again. So this is what this is. Just writing more because I thought it was a good idea. But as we can see, maybe it wasn’t. I don’t know. I’m out of here! See you later Florida gators!