Tampa Heights – Hillsborough County – Saturday 3.30.2019
Spice smokers and bath salt enthusiasts from around the world gathered at Armature Works today for the opening of the greatly anticipated dumpster lounge, Spícè.
Spearheaded by Armature Works’ very own homemade spice enthusiast, Keech ‘The Dishwasher’ Williams, the lounge began as a passion project with designer bath salt maker and recycling specialist Peppi Falshcloth.
The Armature Works dumpster now has a special door welded on the end so guests won’t have to jump over the flappy part. The interior was redecorated but still retained much of the garbage on the walls, as it still doubled as a dumpster, but it now has lights and a sitting area for almost four people.
“You know the bath salts that made the guy in Miami eat a dudes face off?” Falshcloth asks me as we sat on a couch constructed from that day’s garbage. “You wanna try some of it?”
Falshcloth handed me a mirror with some powder substance on it, Williams sat there rolling what he called a ‘spice blunt’, next thing I know I’m naked and handcuffed to a briefcase in the middle of some hotel lobby.
After slipping my way into a janitorial closet and rummaging through some laundry piles I disguised myself in hotel work attire. While leaving the hotel with the briefcase still handcuffed to myself a very attractive woman stopped me.
“Please tell me you remember the night we had,” she says to me while gripping my hands tightly and looking deep into my eyes.
I yelled awkwardly, “I’m sorry I don’t know what you’re talking about,” and ran towards the nearest street where I managed to hop on a bus and return to the Tampa News Force headquarters.
There will be no reservations at Spícè, guest are instead encouraged to do the spice and bath salts as fast as they can and get out before anyone sees them.