Atheism rises among Tampa residents who still don’t have power

The lack of faith in God has swept a sizable amount of Tampan’s this week as Hurricane Ian has still left thousands without electricity.

“There’s just no way that God would let Freddie’s family have power and not mine.” Said Walter Winston, father of 18 in Pinellas County. 

“That guys a jackass, I’m a good person, it just doesn’t make sense.” He shook his head.

Then God came down and spoke to us.

“Hey, I see you’re doing an interview about the hurricane, here, let me clear things up, I don’t care.” God said abruptly.

“I love you, but I don’t care. Do you feel me? Like I love you all as people, but I don’t care what happens to your physical life because your soul lives forever so this is really just a blip that you get over and move on from, so it’s like when you see your baby crying on the big wheel when nothings really happened, it’s like an acorn fell on it and now it’s screaming, but you know, this will pass, it’s not that bad, there’s such a grander existence outside of this, you will be fine. So I don’t bother.”

Freddy and I both totally understood what God was communicating.

“You’re made in my image, not my likeness, there’s a big difference.” God laughed.

“No, I’m just joking with you, you guys are all Gods too, you’ll see, you’ll get it completely one day. Til then, peace out!” God flashed the peace sign, then warped vertically.

“I still don’t believe him.” Freddy said.