The 10th installment of James Cameron’s famous Avatar franchise, has begun filming in downtown Tampa. The series, which is the biggest budget movie collection in the history of cinema has chosen Tampa as a location for its future franchise specifically for, “The smell.”
“The smell of Tampa is something I want to come through the movie.” James Cameron emphatically communicated.
“It has a specific smell, a blue-alien smell, to put it lightly.” Cameron continued.
“It smells like aliens are having sex, in downtown Tampa, and that gets my creative juices flowing. It makes me want to just rent a two-man deep-sea-diving bell, and plunge into the unforgiving waters and scavenge the ocean-floor shipwrecks.” Cameron’s pupils dilated with joy. He was getting excited.
“Tampa makes me want to, ahhh, AHHHH!” Cameron began molting and infrared beams began jutting from his core, towards the heavens.
His earthly body exfoliated and a floating being of light began emitting 440hz sound waves which calmed me.
“I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.” The light-being Cameron said to me.
“Whoa, where is that coming from?” I asked.
“I never said I didn’t like you.” I pleaded.
“Whatever, this interview is over!” The light-being telepathically transmitted to me.
Then with a burst of light, like a camera-flash, the being was gone, and I felt sick.
I threw up.
“That was weird.” I thought.
The movie is expected to bring hundreds of jobs to Tampanians, and boost the local economy by a few billion dollars. Sigourney Weaver has already been spotted scouting new homes in trailer parks around Pasco County.
The movie set is expected to shut down all lanes going north and south on I-275 for 3 years. Most roads in downtown will also be shutdown until further notice.
There will also be a curfew in Hillsborough County, no one will be allowed to leave their homes after 3pm because filming will be taking place around the entire County.
People who live in Tampa will not be allowed to watch the movie when it comes out, per request of James Cameron. If anyone from Tampa attempts to watch the movie when it’s released, they will be arrested, because the production has paid off local government and authority figures.
If anyone talks about Avatar inside their homes over the next 7 years, they will be arrested.
If anyone uses their cellphones for the next 10 years they will be executed, once again, per request of Mr. Cameron.
All babies born in Tampa for the next 15 years will be named James, as part of the filming contract for the movie.
All Tampa residents will be required to learn the language of the blue aliens in the Avatar movies.
Besides all that, it should be a fun experience for Tampa residents!