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Best places to get your period in Tampa

Best Places to Get Your Period in Tampa

As a man writing this article, I’m not the ideal person to be creating this list, whoever I was given this assignment at random during our Monday meeting and I was not allowed to switch my assignment, so I’ll be doing my best to write a gender-friendly article about where the best places in Tampa are to get your period.

5. Tampa Theater

The seats are red, so if you suddenly get your period here, even if you bleed through your underwear, there will be minimal damage to the seats and cleaning will not be too much of a hassle. 

4. Sparkman Wharf

If your period starts here, you can climb the fence and take a dip into the Tampa Bay, washing away the first signs of blood. You’re also outside and in a crowded area, so the glare from the sun, and the reflection of light off people’s sunglasses will most likely prevent people from getting a good view of your crotch without being noticed. Some people may still try to stare, but due to the lighting you’ll be able to know pretty quickly.

3. Riverwalk

There are numerous bathrooms located around Riverwalk, and again, you’re near the Bay/Hillsborough River, so you can easily begin bathing at a moment notice. Don’t be scared to begin your monthly.

2. Tampa Period Center

The Tampa Period Center is a special location designed specifically for people who are about to have their period. It’s full of accommodations like snack machines and mini-movie theaters which play peace-inducing cinema. Comfortable seating, an unlimited supply of Tampons. Comfortably located between Henrietta’s Gun Shop and the Platt Termination Technology Company on the corner of Gunn Highway and Dale Mabry, this location is definitely one fo the best places for you to get your period in Tampa

1. Ocean

When you’re in the ocean, no one outside of aquatic life will know that you got your period. And the underwater animals can’t speak human languages so you don’t need to worry about any gossiping to people you know that you started your time of the month. It may draw the attention of sharks, however, that’s an antiquated risk that you can handle. If you do encounter a shark try to gouge out it’s eyes. Those are the most vulnerable parts of it, and if you can gouge quickly and tactfully, you should escape with minimal harm. If you do get attacked by the shark and they pull you out and they notice the blood coming from your crotch you can claim that was done by the shark and it has nothing to do with your period, to avoid any embarrassment. It’s your time and you don’t need to share that with anyone else. Don’t be scared to lie if it means keeping your privacy.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds