During a press conference at his secret science facility in Downtown Tampa, Microsoft Founder and billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates, announced that he alone designed and released COVID-19 with the hopes that it will spread from China and infect every man, woman and child around the globe so that he could then cure everyone with his already made vaccine.
“I’ve had this ‘vaccine’ for a quiet a while, but I’ve been working with leaders from around the world to make sure that they respond in the worst way possible,” said Gates who then laughed diabolically before pulling out a vial of the vaccine from his anus. “This vaccine is actually a bunch of microchips. I personally use them to control the thermometers in my house.”
Gates then tossed the vial of the vaccine into the press crowd and laughed as they scrambled around trying to grab it. One unnamed reporter who was a very prominent journalist for 10 News emerged victorious from the journalist dog pile and held the vaccine up high before breaking it open and chugging the vaccine.
Once he chugged the vaccine, the journalist began throwing a convulsive fit and started foaming at the mouth.
“Oh yes, I forgot to mention,” Gates said while laughing to himself. “The vaccine only works on black people.”
When asked why and how the vaccine worked only on black people, Gates said, “Because white people suck and we need less of them to make this world a better place.”
The clock then struck 9 PM and we were told to return to our homes with no further questions. While exiting the building we were met with a large police presence that then proceeded to arrest us all for breaking curfew.