Butt dial breaks record for world’s longest phone call
Tetzo Parmula, a man who was hiking through the hills of Dunedin, broke the record for world’s longest phone call when he accidentally butt-dialed a phone-sex hotline before falling to his death off a cliff.
“I could hear a little bit of movement, but it was obviously a butt-dial, we get those all the time.” Said Leslie Gunk, the phone-sex worker who answered Parmula’s call.
“It sounded like he was walking around, and obviously wasn’t aware he had dialed us, but I wasn’t about to disconnect because we get paid by the minute.” Said Gunk.
“Eventually there was a loud crash and then just silence, and then once the call had lasted over 7 hours, and I left work to go home, I just let the call remain on the line, and the next day when I got back to work, it was still going, so I let it stay on, and this process went on for 10 days straight.” Gunk told me, while also entertaining another guest-caller taking place on her other bluetooth headset.
“He must have had like a special battery pack or something for his phone to stay alive that long, I’ve never heard of a cell phone lasting that long.” Gunk admitted.
Parmula did, in fact, have a special cell phone battery pack attached to his 2001 Nokia Slim Phone which gave his phone a massive, 11-day battery life.
Nude Love Inc. the organization which operates “Hot Sexy Gal Talk” The phone line that Parmula accidentally called, was able to rack up a bill of $49,000 from the call, which they are going to sue Parmula’s estate in an attempt to get.
“Some people might think we’re a bit sleazy for trying to get that much money from a dead guy who accidentally called us.” Said Ferman Denk, CEO of Nude Love Inc.
“But, hey, he called us, that ain’t my problem. I’m in the business of making money, not letting random wackoffs call in for free hot sexy gal talk.
Denk said sternly with a tinge of class.
Parmula is survived by 2,000 children which all live and work in Dunedin.
Parmula was a sperm donor who was active in the raising of every child he indirectly birthed.
“He was our donor, and we originally didn’t want anything to do with him, we thought it was strange that he wanted to be involved in the child’s life, but after letting him interact with our child, he was a wonderful person to have around.” Said Bertha Luggnut, one of the many recipients of Parmula’s seed.
All 2,000 of Parmula’s children came together and have recorded a popular YouTube video of them all singing T-Pain’s “In Luv With a Stripper” in honor of their biological father.
“He loved T-Pain.” Said Kendin Piksky, Parmula’s oldest child.
“He would have enjoyed this.” Piksky said.
The Guiness World Record for the longest call was awarded to Parmula posthumously, and has been placed on his grave site.
