Mayor Jane Castor claimed that the cold weather was, “the reason people in Tampa have felt upset recently.” Castor stated during an interview at the end of a Buffalo Wild Wings press event.
After numerous questions from local journalists badgering Mayor Castor as to why the collective feeling of the city has been so low recently, Castor had no choice but to answer as politically as possible.
“Listen guys, I know some of us are going through a hard time right now, and it’s not our fault, it’s not because we thought 2020 was going to be this huge year and we’re almost done with February and it already feels like every other year and we’re just back to our old stagnant way, but guys, it’s not our fault.” Castor said.
“It’s not because we all have our own personal issues and a new year isn’t a magic solution to our problems, but we thought it would be, like it had some magical power like Y2K, but it’s just another year, and we’re still who we are. All we can do is try to be better every day… Also, it’s been cold for a few days so that’s probably what it is. There’s nothing wrong with us. We’re all perfect.” Then Castor pulled out a small confetti popper and popped it into the air and the crowd screamed for joy and began applauding
Castor, who recently won the #1 Mayor Award from Mayor Magazine, then wiped her brow and said “Shew, that was a close one.” To her personal advisor.
We love Jane Castor and she’s the only one in Florida government who we will not make fun of because she let me interview her and she was fun. Castor wouldn’t do bad things! We heart Castor! However if future scandal does ensue, I will regretfully retract my endorsement. I do not believe that will ever be the case though. I’m confident. But again, you’re always confident relationships are going to work and you’re going to be happy and look how that turns out. Damn weather.