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“Don’t say incest” bill passes in Florida


The Family Togetherness Act, also known as the “don’t say incest” bill has passed in Florida congress with a vote of 4-3, making it illegal for teachers to mention incest in any government school building.

The bill which highlights issues of families struggling with incestual relationships between parents who were born brother and sister who don’t want to be ridiculed, makes the topic of incest completely off the table for Florida educators.

“We used to talk about incest a lot.” Said Marinara Martinez, a Pinellas county grade school teacher.

“A lot of our students come from families who’s parents are related and they will ask questions during class time about whether or not that’s right or wrong and sometimes other kids will be rude and laugh at them, and now with this new bill, I will not be able to address their questions which will help shelter the kids from classmates ridicule, and even my own.” Martinez elaborated.

“Yea, I even jump in on the bashing sometimes I mean it’s so easy. One of my students, Victor Tarantino, his parents are literally twin siblings, and I make fun of him all the time about it, because I mean, how can you not? It’s like, how weird is that right!” Martinez giggled loudly, drawing attention from other people around the bus stop.

“I know I’m not supposed to mention my students by name, especially when talking about personal relations, but I really don’t care! I’ve been a teacher for 17 years in the school system and if they fire me, they know the substitute who takes over will be worse than me and probably make fun of Victor more than I do!”

Martinez then hitched a ride from a Bang Bus which pulled up to the curb where I was conducting the interview.

“Sorry this is my ride.” Martinez bashfully said.

“I’ve got to supplement my income somehow.” She shrugged.

Then Ms. Martinez got in the back of the porn-production van, and drove away.

The bill will still allow schools to talk about same-sex executions and kink-fetishes, but incest will be removed from the lexicon.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

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