Florida principal fired for showing students 2 girls 1 cup

The principal of Tampa Riverside Elementary has been fired after showing children the viral crude video, “2 girls 1 cup,” claiming it was “artistic.”

“It’s no different than that gray sculpture that everyone was talking about that’s naked. Seriously tell me the difference between 2 girls 1 cup and that naked gray statue? I’ll wait.” Said Jeffers Kinderson, the former principal now reclined on his plastic-wrapped couch at home on a Skype call with me.

“Everything is art, because art is subjective, so how are you going to tell me one thing has artistic value and the other one doesn’t? It just doesn’t make any sense to me! There is no consensus on what is, and isn’t, art! There is no definitive criteria!” Kinderson got mad and threw a half-drunk Bud Light tallboy can at his folding table he was using as a dinner table by the kitchenette.

“All I’m asking for is some concrete rules of what makes something art and what makes something pornographic. If you can provide me with that, then I will accept my termination and move on with my life. Until then, I will protest the school for kicking me out of my job.” Nodded Kinderson sternly, accidentally spilling a cup of hot chocolate he was holding in his other hand all over his laptop.

“Gack daggit!” Shouldn’t Kinderson.

“My mommy and daddy taught me not to curse when I was child so I use my own curse words I made up, they feel just as effective because they use some of the same hard consonants.”

Kinderson then paused, and had an epiphany.

“Oh my Lordy, I think I get it now! While the naked gray statue has had a lot of effort put into it and the intention of it was to stimulate thought and creativity, 2 girls 1 cup doesn’t necessarily do that… Actually, yes it does, what am I talking about! I almost changed my stance right there, but nope! You almost got me!” Kinderson then laughed to himself and poured himself another cup of hot chocolate and filled it half with Bud Light.

“Am I ever going to get to ask a question?” I asked.

“I’ve just been listening to you ramble while I sit on this Skype call. I need to ask questions for this to be journalism on my end, or else I’m kind of just taking notes on you doing random things in your house.” I sheepishly squeaked out.

“Yes, I understand.” Kinderson obliged. 

“Ok, for my first question, why did you want the kids to see that controversial video?” I poked.

“Well.” Said Kinderson, searching for an answer.

“Well, I just really like Tampa News Force, and I knew if I did this you would reach out to me and want to talk to me. It was worth losing my job to talk to you guys, I just like your content and I wanted to be a part of it.” Kinderson bashfully admitted.

“Oh, I see.” I responded, toiling over what to do from here.

“Well, you’re definitely going to be in a story, so that’s an achievement for you then, right?” I carefully questioned as to not upset Kinderson.

“Yes, this is exactly what I wanted, I never actually thought I’d get this far, and now that I’m here, I don’t really know what else I want to say, or what I should say. You never know what to do the moment after you reach your ultimate goal. Now I feel a sense of emptiness because my dream has been reached, I don’t know what else to do.” Kinderson said, sinking into a comatose state.

“Kinderson, wake up!” I began shouting at my computer camera.

“Kinderson, snap out of it!” I tried to shake my computer as if that would help.

Kinderson then exited the frame and I could hear loud snoring.

Kinderson had put himself into a coma after reaching his dream goal of meeting a TNF reporter and being in a TNF article.

Kinderson stayed in a Coma for 6 weeks.

When he woke up he said he was a new man and went to get his job back as the principal of Riverside Elementary or whatever I called it at the beginning of this article.

He didn’t get the job, because of course he wouldn’t. He was fired for good reason, they don’t care that he was in a 6 week coma and claimed to be a changed man.

After being denied his old job, Kinderson started an OnlyFans account and began doing X-rated cooking shows in the nude from his living room.

He made a lot of money doing that and is very happy now.