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Foods that make your ass taste better


If you’re planning on going down on someone’s buttocks hole it’s best to plan accordingly and dine correctly before indulging in the devil’s dessert.

These are some foods you should eat before you plan on having someone lick your bottom side. It’s pretty much the same rule about how it feels going in. If it’s hot, it’s going to be hot.

5. Cucumbers

Nice soft vegetable skin, light moisture levels, firm yet crunchy, a nice all-around nutritious item to ingest before someone gnaws on your nugget chute.

4. Apple pie

Just like Grandma used to make it. Nice and sweet, hot, lumpy and voluptuous, apple pie is the perfect treat to get your moon meat tasting right. Try to avoid additional cinnamon, only use the recommended dose

3. Mountain Dew Baja Blast

The caffeine in the beverage will leave your 3-hole puckering and sopping with special Dew juice, giving you a taste of the tropical rockies. 

2. Apricot Salad

This nutritional powerhouse of a meal will go directly to your rectum. Trust me on this one, just down it a few minutes before the act, and almost simultaneously your b-hole will welt up with the flavors of 1,000 worlds.

1. Cheese & Cat Meat

Studies have proven that the internal chemical reactions of cat meat and cheese interacting in our stomachs produces a taste that has tested higher than any other taste in history. The proteins and amino acids being enriched by our stomach bile then processed in the colon concocts a heavenly flavor which can only be described as “next level.” Make sure to source cat meat ethically and through a fair trade cat meat program.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds